I got through today or at least I think I did! I am still here, in one piece though a little fragmented if the truth be known, (although I have certainly had worse days in the grand scheme of things to be sure! But it is all relative!)

It is said or rather suggested that the Universe does not give us challenges that we cannot rise to or cope with. Not altogether sure whether I would agree with that or not? In fact, I do not see how that can possibly be true as people do not always seem to get through or over the obstacles in their way. Sometimes people do find strength, inner resolve or a way forward but sometimes and oftentimes they do not, or maybe they could have but the timing was all wrong and out of sync, and for some reason which is at this time, beyond my comprehension they do not deal with the here and now. They become emotional or rather over emotional. They get things out of perspective: not because they are wrong but because they cannot for the life of them see the woods for the trees.

Life can be such a roller coaster of events, feelings, emotions, turbulence, ups and downs and all sorts of other sh*t. Sometimes there are so many control dramas going on, including our own that we do not know what we are doing or which way to turn?

We, as a family have decided after a great deal of consideration and heartfelt torment to move our Mum closer to us. Obviously, we have her best interests at heart! That said, it has been a difficult decision! We will have to uproot her from her home where she has lived for over 30 years. A home she chose with my Dad who sadly passed away at the end of 2013. Since she had a fall in August 2019 we have been ensuring round the clock care for her. My sisters and I have had a rotation system in place so she is alone for as little as possible. Mostly it has worked! Our visits have overlapped and on the most part there has been little or no time where she has been alone. That said, we had one occasion a few weeks back where there were just a few hours overnight where she was on her own. It was a one off but that one off was where she had another fall.

I spent the night in hospital with her up on a drip. An uncomfortable night for both of us! Especially my mum, as they had no female beds available.  Anyway, we got through it! The result was though, that we have had to rethink our strategy for caring for her. She does not want outsiders involved, so we have been looking after her as best as we can to avoid that! We all have families of our own and there has been a knock on effect because we are each away from home for a couple of nights and days in the week.  One of us has not been able to be involved for the last few weeks because of a bereavement that has been truly hard on the whole family but especially my eldest sister who lost her son in a tragic accident.

However, we are all feeling it now, and feel as though our lives are fragmented and that we are not there for our children and their children. So, with much discussion, consideration, and in the past many U-turns we have made a concrete decision to move our lovely Mum closer to us. It has not been an easy decision, and there may certainly be repercussions but we are doing the best that we can.

We do not know what else to do!

Sometimes we have to take a risk!

Nothing changes, if nothing changes!

Hopefully, we have made the right decision but only time will tell!

Wish us/Our Mum luck!

Blessed be!

Liola

 

 

 

 

6 thoughts on “Decisions, decisions…

  1. Best of luck, I’m sure bringing her closer is the right decision. And I have a lot of respect for you and the rest of your family that are putting forth so much effort to be there for your mother. A lot of people wouldn’t/don’t do that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much River for your kind words! They mean a lot! They truly do! I am sure it is the right thing to do. Not easy maybe but definitely right! Her whole life revolved around us as children! It’s our turn to look after her! Once again, thank you! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Liola, I believe if God wanted something different, he would direct your heart to it. Know that you’re doing the best you can. All of you are.

    Prior to mom’s passing in January, 2003; myself and 2 other sisters rotated at the hospital where she spent most of her last year, in/out. Then, it was hospice along with more decisions to be made. Thank God, my mom was coherent to choose and we didn’t have to. Gosh, do I miss her especially when I feel alone.

    You ladies continue to embrace and love each other and know that we don’t get a manual that tells us what road to take. We all do our best according to what God puts in our hearts and minds. It’s in God’s hands.

    Also, I’m very sorry to hear about your nephew. I know the pain. I’ve lost many family members.

    Big hugs to you all, praying for you all. πŸ˜πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Emma for those kind and beautiful words! You and your sisters were there for your Mum in difficult times, so I know you understand! No, there is no manual. Wish there was! Your Mum is always with you and not really too far away. It just seems that way sometimes. Look at your grandchildren, and your children and I am sure you will see her whether it’s how they look, how they smile or maybe an expression. Your Mum lives on through all of you! Sending you much love and hugs right back! Be blessed! πŸ™‚ xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

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