Finding my way

Three steps forward, six steps back. Seems to be how it goes for me just now or not even just now but for ages. I get all fired up and impassioned (is that a word?) with ideas, thoughts, musings and plans for new projects of this, that and the other, only to find the wind blown out of my sails surely and suddenly from something or someone or most likely my own sensitive/oversensitive self.

Growing up, my Dad, my beautiful and oh so gentle Dad would tell me quietly on one and many occasions that I was too sensitive! My beautiful Mum would reinforce this idea of me being too sensitive or oversensitive but in much more direct terms.

And yes, they were both right! I am sensitive! Or over sensitive by many but not all people’s standards! I take things to heart! I over analyse! I think too much! I overthink everything! I hurt easily!

I am it seems, apparently an empath? I feel what others feel! Not only emotionally but sometimes physically (I get aches and pains, sometimes for no apparent reason and they seem to mirror those of people I am close to). I pick up on people’s moods, tensions and even thoughts. I do not want to if I am honest but it is just how it is.

I carried out a bit of research on this, and discovered that being an Empath is not all bad.  In fact, it seems that it can even be a gift, if I can learn how to psychically protect myself. I am trying to learn various techniques to do just this: from buying an Obsidian Unicorn to visualising myself surrounded by a circle of white or pink light (place myself in a protective bubble as it were). Sometimes it seems to work but then sometimes, the bubble bursts and all hell breaks loose!

The thing is, I am only just learning who I am! I am, I guess like many people, a work in progress, still being sculpted, moulded, designed and created or maybe recreated.

I am not there yet! I have, I think a long way to go but I am on a journey, my journey. I am not sure where I am going just yet but I will get there in the end!

Wishing you all well on your journey! Let’s exchange stories as we go!

Blessed be!

Liola x

© Liola Lee

Just before my husband left for fishing we were discussing something said from yesterday evening, and he told me I was far too sensitive. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To Unborn Generations

To unborn generations, what will this world be like?

Will everyone still drive cars? Or maybe they’ll just hike.

And what of mobile phones? A wonderful invention or

the curse of modern man, cause of hypertension?

Will we still desire this contemporary accessory or

will at last, we have some sense, and leave it just to memory.

PCs, Macs and laptops, iPods, MP3s –

is it getting too much? Someone tell me please.

Everyone now emails, or texts in shorthand speech,

so few now use the language, teachers try to teach.

Respect for Law and Order, is at an all time low;

gangs of children rule the streets, status dogs in tow.

People being murdered, no care to whom they are;

stabbings every day now, crime has gone too far. 

No control, no restraint; war outside the door;

kids killing kids, for what? Status, kicks, not sure?

Time to take the kids in hand, time to give them back,

a childhood full of fun and play, things today they lack.

Perhaps while we’ve been working, in this world of high-tech stuff;

we have not even noticed,  the kids have had enough.

Kill him! Kill him! Chants are heard;

These, just children, how absurd!

Turn off all computers, switch off mobile phones;

play out with your children, make streets gang free zones.

We need to be the grown-ups, show them how it’s done;

we need to teach them right from wrong, 

before they come undone.

A Children’s Revolution, taking place outside this day:

result of what? Technology? No time to learn from play. 

To unborn generations, this world of ours will be,

what we care to make it, one of joy or misery.

© Liola Lee 2007

I wrote the poem below in 2007. I felt the ‘Gang’ issues in society needed to be addressed. I still do.  We need to do something as the situation worsens on our streets and in our cities. The image is a scan of one of my Granddaughters who is now 14.

This is a repost

 

Decisions, decisions…

I got through today or at least I think I did! I am still here, in one piece though a little fragmented if the truth be known, (although I have certainly had worse days in the grand scheme of things to be sure! But it is all relative!)

It is said or rather suggested that the Universe does not give us challenges that we cannot rise to or cope with. Not altogether sure whether I would agree with that or not? In fact, I do not see how that can possibly be true as people do not always seem to get through or over the obstacles in their way. Sometimes people do find strength, inner resolve or a way forward but sometimes and oftentimes they do not, or maybe they could have but the timing was all wrong and out of sync, and for some reason which is at this time, beyond my comprehension they do not deal with the here and now. They become emotional or rather over emotional. They get things out of perspective: not because they are wrong but because they cannot for the life of them see the woods for the trees.

Life can be such a roller coaster of events, feelings, emotions, turbulence, ups and downs and all sorts of other sh*t. Sometimes there are so many control dramas going on, including our own that we do not know what we are doing or which way to turn?

We, as a family have decided after a great deal of consideration and heartfelt torment to move our Mum closer to us. Obviously, we have her best interests at heart! That said, it has been a difficult decision! We will have to uproot her from her home where she has lived for over 30 years. A home she chose with my Dad who sadly passed away at the end of 2013. Since she had a fall in August 2019 we have been ensuring round the clock care for her. My sisters and I have had a rotation system in place so she is alone for as little as possible. Mostly it has worked! Our visits have overlapped and on the most part there has been little or no time where she has been alone. That said, we had one occasion a few weeks back where there were just a few hours overnight where she was on her own. It was a one off but that one off was where she had another fall.

I spent the night in hospital with her up on a drip. An uncomfortable night for both of us! Especially my mum, as they had no female beds available.  Anyway, we got through it! The result was though, that we have had to rethink our strategy for caring for her. She does not want outsiders involved, so we have been looking after her as best as we can to avoid that! We all have families of our own and there has been a knock on effect because we are each away from home for a couple of nights and days in the week.  One of us has not been able to be involved for the last few weeks because of a bereavement that has been truly hard on the whole family but especially my eldest sister who lost her son in a tragic accident.

However, we are all feeling it now, and feel as though our lives are fragmented and that we are not there for our children and their children. So, with much discussion, consideration, and in the past many U-turns we have made a concrete decision to move our lovely Mum closer to us. It has not been an easy decision, and there may certainly be repercussions but we are doing the best that we can.

We do not know what else to do!

Sometimes we have to take a risk!

Nothing changes, if nothing changes!

Hopefully, we have made the right decision but only time will tell!

Wish us/Our Mum luck!

Blessed be!

Liola

 

 

 

 

Reboot

Reboot, start over, begin afresh

all messed up like tangled mesh.

New beginnings, start again

crush the niggles, aches and pain.

Reboot, reboot, take me back,

abundance ruled, no thought to lack.

Press my buttons, ring my bell,

wake me up, fed up with hell.

Manmade prison, woman bound cell,

screams inside, can’t you tell.

Outer glitter, external Gold

beneath the surface, words untold.

Reboot, reboot, remove the mask,

reveal the layers, take on the task.

Tell the story, write those words,

tap those keys, voice be heard.

Reboot, reboot, readjust,

time for change, no whim, a must.

Reboot, reboot, reboot once more,

update  system, strengthen core.

© Liola Lee 2020

Just playing with words, and making connections. Still not sure where I am going with my blog. I have absolutely no clue at all. That said, I love the way words play out on the page. I have a wonderful book of verse called ‘The Golden Staircase’ which my Dad gave me when I was just a little girl. Not sure how it came into his possession. A second hand book shop maybe? At the time it was written rhyming verse was very much the in thing. I always loved the rhythms and beats of rhyming verse. That said, I equally love the more abstract free verse of today. Anyway, hope you like it and get something from the words. 

Blessed be!