Through the snow…

Through The Snow

‘Straight’ A student once,

A girl with dreams, girl with chance;

Chance of doing something great

Then a puppet with puppet’s fate.

Once in charge, once in control,

A girl with heart, girl with soul.

Sold herself to get a fix,

For something instant, something quick.

Started off with just a puff,

Then she knew she’d had enough.

A little later she met someone,

Made her laugh, have some fun.

He was on the trip before;

Now he had someone to soar

With open arms and dreams ahead,

Joined together, their habits fed.

They took a journey, rode together,

Through the snow for hell and leather;

They skied the slopes, down they went,

Destination not heaven bent.

For many seasons, the snow went on,

They wished so hard it would be gone.

They tried in vein to clear the snow,

Did not work – on with the show.

What started out, just as fun,

Soon took hold, now number one.

The blizzard blew, was blowing strong,

The journey hardened, miles were long.

They both knew, that change must come,

Or forever, they’d be undone.

It was hard, they missed their kicks,

Missed their snowman, missed their fix.

As time went by, they stayed together,

Bonds so strong, unbroken, never.

Against all odds, they stood the test

Of time immortal, deprived of rest –

Until such time as they had learnt

Lessons well, flames unburnt.

Universally sanctioned, arm in arm,

Gods did soften and free from harm.

It did not matter, had to be,

Star crossed lovers destiny;

But unlike Romeo, and Juliet

It was good that these two met.

Grim Reaper met the Cobra Queen,

She knew him, had known he’d been,

Her Karmic Prince for all of time,

Her main player, in her cosmic mime.

Lives interwoven, eternally linked,

Chained in melody, not chains that chinked.

United in a timeless love,

Gods just playing them, from above.

Before the end, the slope got steeper

For Cobra Queen and Grim Reaper,

But now they’re sorted, squeaky clean

Only God knows, what might have been.

© Liola Lee 2007

 

 

 

 

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Today is the day ~ Fat

Today is the day’ …was a collection of musings I wrote during the Peri menopause years. It’s spoken in the first person, and was based largely on my journal entries written around that time. Journalling is a wonderful way to express this, that and whatever else needs to be said whether aloud or silently…

Fast forward to today 10th December 2018  ~ Time to think about this again!

I have made a decision. It is one that I have made from time to time over the years at various stages of my life. At times, that decision has come to fruition, and at times it has not but not to worry for today is the day that I have decided to stop being fat. Maybe I am not hugely fat but definitely overweight, and much larger than I should like to be and most certainly much larger than I ought to be. Perhaps I am not so fat that I would require a bigger seat on an aeroplane but most certainly tipping the scales these days in the heavier, not lighter side of the perfect weight, for my slightly less than average height. I am not what I would consider too short but would not be seen as taller than average by others, but I always feel tall, so I guess I walk tall, and am therefore tall on the inside, though the outside does not give that away. Today is the day that the slim person who resides inside me with the tall person mentioned earlier, is coming out to play and stay. The short fat woman that looks back at me in the mirror is being evicted. She has been hanging around for far too long now and now it is time for the other me, the old me or rather the earlier me to return or maybe a newer me. And there lies my decision. I shall not be fat now or ever again. Think slim, be slim is my new motto. 

© Liola Lee 2010

Searching…

Much of my poetry is Philosophical. I am quite a deep thinker. This is a poem about finding one’s way out of the darkness. Much of my poetry has been written when I have been feeling lost… 

Ill-chosen lyrics, a well-loved tune?

Child of the Sun, child of the Moon?

Where once reigned daylight

Now shadow led night.

Where once there was vision

Eyes blind without sight.

Where now is felt weakness

Not characterised might;

Once stood strength,

Ready to fight.

The fight is now gone:

A forgotten song:

Words without voices,

Decisions less choices.

This way or that way?

I know not which;

The path rightly chosen

Is wealth beyond rich.

To those who seek,

To them shall find;

The way is forward

Not that behind.

© Liola Lee 2007

Today is the day ~ Let the day begin

Today is the day’ …was a collection of musings I wrote during the Peri menopause years. It’s spoken in the first person, and was based largely on my journal entries written around that time. Journalling is a wonderful way to express this, that and whatever else needs to be said whether aloud or silently…

Let the day begin

15th July 2010 (am)

I am sitting here in the dining room contemplating what I shall write about today. So often I just write whatever comes into my head, and wonder if what I am writing is worth writing or whether it is just meaningless nonsensical crap that no one will ever read. I determine I shall aim to write at least 500 words, after all if I am to be a writer I must in fact write. 

It is very windy outside this morning, so much so that the willow tree is swaying heavily from one side to another; a dancing yeti embracing the universe, reminding me that once again another year has passed and we have still to cut it back; something we have been promising the neighbours for the last few years. I was all set to have the tree brought under control by tree surgeons but they turned out to be rogue traders. I was not fooled for long though, and once the price started to increase I knew that they were trying to rip me off and told them so. Once they knew I was on to them, they made a hasty exit but not before they had partially butchered my beloved willow, and left an almighty mess in the back garden. 

I have decided today to try really hard to do things differently, because if I keep doing things as I have been doing them, then nothing will change, and I so desperately want things to change. I am not unhappy but I lack direction just now, and want to find a pathway to follow. I spend too much time sighing and procrastinating over things which is without doubt holding me back. Sitting here with my head held in my hands, and tapping my fingers incessantly on the table whilst looking at the screen, and willing words of wisdom to come forth does not seem to be working. I have already had three cups of coffee which is the same as always. Why oh why did I not begin the day with a lovely cup of tea? 

Anyway, today is the day for change. I have not done my Angel cards for a while so think I may seek guidance from my Angels as to what I should be focusing on today. I also need to change my hair as it is getting on my nerves. This has nothing to do with my hormones. It is simply that I have looked in the mirror and can see a follicle disaster in full swing. 

The willow tree is still waving. I do hope it does not blow down. That would be a nuisance, now to think what to do today. I must go out, as over the last few days I have been somewhat reclusive and not really ventured out unless you include the daily trips down to Sainsbury’s with Steve. We go there everyday and seem to suffer withdrawal symptoms if we miss a day. Sometimes we go down more than once a day, which some may say is a little sad. It is certainly expensive! When we buy our next house we must ensure that we are far away from the local supermarket. We go in for a couple of items and always come out with a trolley full of food that we do not need nor want really. I am not really sure when we became addicted to food shopping but never a day goes by without us making Mr Sainsbury just that little bit richer. I am sure we are their best customers.

Sammy has just been down and offered me a slice of birthday cake. I questioned why she had bought a birthday cake, “Because I like it” was the answer which I guess is a fair response. I declined on this occasion, though to be honest I was a little tempted. However, a slice of birthday cake will do nothing for my waistline or rather, nothing for that place where my waist used to be. I should go out for a really long walk with Syd, that may clear a few cobwebs. I could walk Syd and drop some papers off to the Accountants therefore achieving the completion of two tasks in one go. It might rain but if it does I shall get a bit wet, so what, a bit of rain never hurt anybody, well not unless you think about those people who get hurt in floods and things, then I guess you could get hurt but just now it is a little cloudy and a little windy, and does not look as though it will flood in the near vicinity. 

I wonder if all women nearing the menopause ponder on such trivia as I do on a daily basis. I wonder if all women sigh as much as I do, and wonder what to do with themselves when they are not cooking, cleaning, ironing, dog walking, washing up and looking after the children. Although the children in my house are all pretty much grown up or at least they are when it suits them, and they never do that much for me. It seems to be understood that it is my role or duty to do everything around the house to make everyone else comfortable and content but what about me, who will do that for me? I guess I shall have to do it for myself but it is hard to do things for myself. I have spent so many years looking after everyone else’s needs that I have forgotten how to look after my own. Today though, I shall endeavour to address this balance and put myself first. I shall aim to please myself, not for selfish reasons you understand but for my self preservation. The time has come for ME… ME… ME…

Let the day begin. 

© Liola Lee 2010

The Butterfly Effect…

We go through many changes in life as we find our way. For some of us, it is as simple as going from ‘A’ to ‘B’ for others of us, myself included the path is not so straightforward. We may find ourselves going one way, and then with no warning things happen, and we find we have to change direction. Sometimes it is our choice, and at others it is more because circumstances have changed, and we need to readjust and change our route.  We do not always realise that it is the journey itself that holds the key. We will reach the destination eventually, whichever route we take. I think, and maybe you do too that everything happens for a reason, and sometimes we have to follow a certain route to discover something about ourselves or life. Life unfolds exactly as it is meant to for us as an individual. We do not always see the bigger picture until later but ultimately, everything happens for our own good…I think. The Butterfly is a wonderful and beautiful symbol of transformation. The image shown here is of a Monarch Butterfly. We saw these when we were on holiday in Tucson, Arizona as they were migrating to New Mexico.

© Liola Lee 2018