River

Let me introduce you to my beautiful horse River seen here in the picture.

First of all, I apologise for not being on here much lately but life has been busy, and most of my time has been taken up looking after my lovely spotty horse!

On Christmas Eve River had an acute episode of Colic, which turned out to be Sand Colic which is pretty rare here in the UK. For those of you who are not involved with Equines, Colic in horses can be fatal. River underwent surgery on Christmas Eve (this was not his first surgery as he had undergone exploratory surgery in the Spring of 2017). I always said I would never put him through it again but on Christmas Eve I was told by the Vet it is surgery or he would die. Surgery was his only chance so I took it. My brave horse walked out of surgery for the second time, albeit for a different problem.

It is early days yet but the prognosis is good. He is pretty spooky at the moment but that is to be expected, as he feels weak and vulnerable. That said, River is truly special. He is my own War Horse, a real Warrior and he is not ready to leave this world just yet.

I feel truly blessed to still have him! He always makes me feel better! Spending time around horses is a wonderful therapy, and so healing!

River is still on box rest, and will be until the end of the month. All being well he will be able to go out in the field in March. I will keep you posted on his progress.

The image here is one I captured in the Summer of 2017.

© Liola Lee 2019

 

 

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Through the snow…

Through The Snow

‘Straight’ A student once,

A girl with dreams, girl with chance;

Chance of doing something great

Then a puppet with puppet’s fate.

Once in charge, once in control,

A girl with heart, girl with soul.

Sold herself to get a fix,

For something instant, something quick.

Started off with just a puff,

Then she knew she’d had enough.

A little later she met someone,

Made her laugh, have some fun.

He was on the trip before;

Now he had someone to soar

With open arms and dreams ahead,

Joined together, their habits fed.

They took a journey, rode together,

Through the snow for hell and leather;

They skied the slopes, down they went,

Destination not heaven bent.

For many seasons, the snow went on,

They wished so hard it would be gone.

They tried in vein to clear the snow,

Did not work – on with the show.

What started out, just as fun,

Soon took hold, now number one.

The blizzard blew, was blowing strong,

The journey hardened, miles were long.

They both knew, that change must come,

Or forever, they’d be undone.

It was hard, they missed their kicks,

Missed their snowman, missed their fix.

As time went by, they stayed together,

Bonds so strong, unbroken, never.

Against all odds, they stood the test

Of time immortal, deprived of rest –

Until such time as they had learnt

Lessons well, flames unburnt.

Universally sanctioned, arm in arm,

Gods did soften and free from harm.

It did not matter, had to be,

Star crossed lovers destiny;

But unlike Romeo, and Juliet

It was good that these two met.

Grim Reaper met the Cobra Queen,

She knew him, had known he’d been,

Her Karmic Prince for all of time,

Her main player, in her cosmic mime.

Lives interwoven, eternally linked,

Chained in melody, not chains that chinked.

United in a timeless love,

Gods just playing them, from above.

Before the end, the slope got steeper

For Cobra Queen and Grim Reaper,

But now they’re sorted, squeaky clean

Only God knows, what might have been.

© Liola Lee 2007

 

 

 

 

Grief

To live in the hearts of those we love, is not to die’.

When our beautiful Dad passed away shortly after Christmas 2013 after wrestling with mixed dementia/Alzheimers, Life as we knew it changed forever.  Nothing prepares anyone really for the emotional roller coaster that is to come. Grief is something that happens to us all at some stage in our lives. The feeling of intense sorrow, and devastating loss of a loved one, a relationship , a job or a much loved pet can be too much to bear in the early stages. We can become overwhelmed beyond belief by this terrible sense of loss, separation, and sadness. Sometimes tears fall easily and incessantly, and  sometimes they don’t fall at all.  At times we may feel as though we cannot breathe or catch our breath. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve. We each deal with our emotions in our own way, whatever that may be, and that’s okay. When we lose something that has been a big part of our lives for a long time or sometimes even just a short time, we may feel empty and hollow with nothing left to give, almost as if our insides have been ripped out, torn apart and discarded in all manner of directions.  We are left with a void that nothing can fill. Clouds and thunderstorms become the order of the day and night. Life goes on but we feel heavy and unable to cope at times, and can feel angry that everyone around us seems to be able to go on as normal. Why can they not see what we are going through? Sometimes we put on a brave face to the outside world but often it is just a facade beneath which hides a turmoil of unexplained emotions which may erupt at any time like a slumbering volcano that’s set to wake up at any time. It seems there are several stages of grief to go through, shock, denial, pain, guilt, anger, depression, reflection, loneliness through to acceptance. I have felt all these and more. There is no set time as to when these stages of grief will happen or for how long but time does heal. We never forget but we do eventually learn to accept and come to realise that we have cherished memories that will last a lifetime, and that the essence and energy of what or who we feel we have lost is merely lost to us in the physical sense. We are all energy and as such energy just changes form. It takes time to heal and we each heal at our own pace and that is okay too. Eventually we arrive at a place of loving peace within. There are still clouds from time to time but now there are bursts of sunshine too and it is okay to feel the warmth of the sun once more. Love never truly dies. I miss my Dad and think of him often but I know in my heart that he is never really too far away. Sometimes I see a Butterfly or a white feather falling from the sky and I am reminded that all is well. This short blog post is dedicated to all those who have felt the desolation of losing someone or something they loved. 

© Liola Lee 2018