Time for change…

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One day in time, just when the time seems right to do so, the stubby little Caterpillar decides that he/she will stop eating, for that is what Caterpillars do for most of the time. A Caterpillar is, after all just a Caterpillar, and Caterpillars will repeatedly do what Caterpillars do. Said Caterpillar then finds some branch, some twig maybe or just somewhere where it can hang out, hopefully undisturbed by too much trauma, and hang upside down for a bit. In this upside down world it spins itself a cocoon and remains in the dark place for however long it takes. A wonderful, beautiful thing begins to happen in the darkness. A beautiful transformation is taking place. The old body parts of the Caterpillar are undergoing the miracle of metamorphosis to change into the beautiful parts that become the Butterfly that will at just the right time emerge and soar upwards.

We can learn so much from nature! Trust the process!

© Liola Lee 2019

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Grief

To live in the hearts of those we love, is not to die’.

When our beautiful Dad passed away shortly after Christmas 2013 after wrestling with mixed dementia/Alzheimers, Life as we knew it changed forever.  Nothing prepares anyone really for the emotional roller coaster that is to come. Grief is something that happens to us all at some stage in our lives. The feeling of intense sorrow, and devastating loss of a loved one, a relationship , a job or a much loved pet can be too much to bear in the early stages. We can become overwhelmed beyond belief by this terrible sense of loss, separation, and sadness. Sometimes tears fall easily and incessantly, and  sometimes they don’t fall at all.  At times we may feel as though we cannot breathe or catch our breath. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve. We each deal with our emotions in our own way, whatever that may be, and that’s okay. When we lose something that has been a big part of our lives for a long time or sometimes even just a short time, we may feel empty and hollow with nothing left to give, almost as if our insides have been ripped out, torn apart and discarded in all manner of directions.  We are left with a void that nothing can fill. Clouds and thunderstorms become the order of the day and night. Life goes on but we feel heavy and unable to cope at times, and can feel angry that everyone around us seems to be able to go on as normal. Why can they not see what we are going through? Sometimes we put on a brave face to the outside world but often it is just a facade beneath which hides a turmoil of unexplained emotions which may erupt at any time like a slumbering volcano that’s set to wake up at any time. It seems there are several stages of grief to go through, shock, denial, pain, guilt, anger, depression, reflection, loneliness through to acceptance. I have felt all these and more. There is no set time as to when these stages of grief will happen or for how long but time does heal. We never forget but we do eventually learn to accept and come to realise that we have cherished memories that will last a lifetime, and that the essence and energy of what or who we feel we have lost is merely lost to us in the physical sense. We are all energy and as such energy just changes form. It takes time to heal and we each heal at our own pace and that is okay too. Eventually we arrive at a place of loving peace within. There are still clouds from time to time but now there are bursts of sunshine too and it is okay to feel the warmth of the sun once more. Love never truly dies. I miss my Dad and think of him often but I know in my heart that he is never really too far away. Sometimes I see a Butterfly or a white feather falling from the sky and I am reminded that all is well. This short blog post is dedicated to all those who have felt the desolation of losing someone or something they loved. 

© Liola Lee 2018