Let it flow…

Many times,  I sit with my head in my hands, wondering what on earth am I doing with my life? I feel the passing of time as it whooshes by without looking back because let’s face it we cannot go back, not ever, at least not in any real sense. I see my reflection in the mirror when I can bear to look in the mirror that is, and know that I am she who is looking back at me. The girl in me is still there somewhere, I can see her in my eyes if I look closely enough. This me that I see staring back at me in the glass has the same curly hair but that which was once darkest brown/near black is now silvered and metallic. I see a few lines here and there, some that were not there before. Some have been there longer than others. They are my life lines, my story etched into my once smooth, once dewy skin. The mask of youth has been replaced by the mask of maturity and that’s okay.  Wrinkles for that’s what they are,  are the laughter, the joy, the sorrow, the anger, the confusion, the certainty of life. They are the information and data gathered over a life time of living. Sometimes I take those lines and allow them to take shape and form on a blank page, allowing them to flow freely from my fountain pen, then the ink runs dry and the current is interrupted once more.

Time to refill and flow.

© Liola Lee 2019

 

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Talking to dead people…

Daddy came to say hello and tell me that he was proud of me.

This happened five and a half years after he passed to the next world. Daddy drew his last breath on 29th December 2013 in the early hours of the morning.

Daddy died. There, I have said it. It’s been hard to say it, even though it’s true. When he passed from this world to the next, everything that had been constant in my life changed. I’d been right at his side at the end, right until that moment when he felt able to let go. From arriving at the hospital, until he inhaled his last breath, I and two of my sisters and of course our Mum had kept a vigil by his bedside.

Watching the life leave his once such strong body and mind was not instant. We had slowly been witnessing his decline for a long time. He had suffered with mixed dementia, which was a combination of Vascular Dementia and Alzheimer’s, so a double whammy!  Such a cruel blow of fate for a man who in his day had been so academic. My Dad, Hugh, was by far the cleverest man I have ever met! He was a one in a million type of man! They really do not make men like him anymore! He epitomised the term gentleman being a truly gentle man with impeccable manners. He was one of those who always let a lady go first, who would hold the door open for you, and who would stand up when a lady entered the room. He spoke the King’s/Queen’s English, pronouncing every letter and syllable perfectly.

He really was quite something!

His was a life well lived and he was a man well loved, who lived his life well.

He was my Dad, my hero!

It was a truly traumatic time for me and my family when Daddy left to go to the other side as it were! Towards the end I told my Dad it was okay to let go now, and not to worry, and that we would look after Mummy.

A couple of days back I decided to consult a Spiritual Psychic Medium who is also gifted in reading the Tarot, and other of the esoteric arts. You have to go into these things with an open mind as you do not know really how it’s going to go.

I have to say it was fascinating, mind blowing and really comforting. I cried a bit, and I laughed but mostly I felt connected. My Dad came to say hello, and to tell me how proud he was of me. He thanked me for all that I do for my Mum, and said no more tears, time to move forward.

I am not going to go in to too much detail as things were said/revealed that are very personal to me and my family. Many people are skeptical about this sort of thing, and yes, there are unscrupulous people out there who prey on those who are vulnerable and maybe grieving etc.

All that said, I did not go into this with my eyes shut. I researched and checked out the credentials of my Medium, and to be honest I just sort of got a feeling/connection with him. He was brilliant! He said things that no one else in the whole world could have known. He told me things that were in my head, and that I had not revealed to anyone. However, what truly reassured me, sold it to me, however you want to put it, is that my Dad gave a message to me that only me, my mum and sisters could know about, and of course my Dad.

I truly believe everything happens for a reason, and that everything we have ever done gets us to this point. All I can say is that I connected to the spirit world through the help of a gifted Medium, and now I feel able to move forward as my Dad has reassured me that it is okay to do so.

We may call it ‘talking to dead people’ but we are thinking of it in a physical sense. We are merely chatting to those who have gone from one room to another. We can still talk to them but just need to learn the language. Those in the Spirit world know what they are doing. We just need to learn how to receive messages, signs, wisdom, guidance, advice.  It’s sort of like learning a new language. The language of energy.  Everything is energy, and the energy never dies!

Just recently I have been, or rather for a long time have been thinking of learning a new language. I was pretty much thinking maybe French, possibly Italian but after my recent encounter with the Spirit World I have decided to try and learn the language of the Spirit World. For some that is weird, for others you will understand!

Best wishes,

Liola

The image is of me and my Dad on my wedding day on 5th May 1984 which was also my 22nd birthday…I got to do a waltz with my Dad as the first dance. Wish I could remember the song we danced to. It will come back to me one day…

Heron

1I7A7248fb-1‘Make a stand for what you believe in and do what feels right in spite of any judgement or disapproval from others’.  ~ Heron ~ (author not known)

~ Heron symbolism ~

Image captured by LiolaPhotographic in Warminster, 2019

© LiolaPhotographic 2019

 

 

Now…

1I7A2647a-1-1Sometimes like many people, I feel that there is something missing. A void exists, and I am not sure how to fill it. That is how I have felt up until now.  It is said that everything that we have ever done in life, gets us to this exact point where we are at right now. Many self help books adhere to the premise that the point of power is now.  They are right, we never really have any other moment than that which is now, this moment, this precise moment; the present.

Today I have realised that I have this body that has carried me through life, this mind that is always curious and wanting to learn more in the quest for knowledge, and my spirit which is sometimes low but often elated because of one thing or another that has brightened my day. Whether that be the sound of a loved ones laughter, the Robin Redbreast alighting on the plant pot outside the door, the elderflower tree which just now is in flower, not to mention the mighty Lime Flower Tree which stands higher than the house in our minuscule back garden (which in truth is actually a small plot of dirt because of two boisterous, though loveable dogs). In these simple things there is beauty and peace. There is the wonder of life.

It is up to me how I choose to fill my vessel. I can choose to nourish or to damage that which carries me on my voyage. I get to choose how I ‘feed’ myself.

Let the journey recommence. Bon voyage!

Today is the day…

© Liola Lee 2019

Butterflies symbolise change and transformation!  Time to come out of the darkness of the  cocoon and emerge free as a Butterfly