Angels in Disguise

Angels in Disguise

Angels appear in many guises!

Entering your life, sometimes in the real world, sometimes in the virtual sphere and now and again in the Ether. Lifting you up when you have fallen down yet again.  They encourage you, inspire you and help relight your fire. They do not judge you nor condemn you. They accept you with your many flaws and imperfections. They see the good in you, the sparkle, the light within. Sharing thoughts, words, poetry, prose, passion and compassion, they remind you that that you are strong, and resilient and that you can overcome the obstacles whatever they may be that obscure your vision.

Angels appear in many guises!

© Liola Lee 2019

Just thinking about Angels this morning, and also thought to share the short poem below: 

Angels, in the early morning ~ By Emily Dickenson

Angels, in the early morning

May be seen in the Dews among,

Stooping – plucking – smiling – flying –

Do the Buds to them belong?

 

Angels, when the sun is hottest

May be seen the sands among,

Stooping – plucking – sighing – flying –

Parched the flowers they bear along.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Carpe Diem…

Carpe Diem…

Carpe Diem!! Or to those of you unfamiliar with Latin ‘Seize the day!!’ I feel pretty good today. In fact the best that I have felt for the last couple of weeks. I am at work in the office today. My office is not far, in fact it is situated at the top of our rather tall Tardis like town house, for those of you unfamiliar with Doctor Who, a Tardis is in fact an old fashioned police telephone box which used to be seen on many streets in England, when I was a small child. Giving my age away now. Our home is rented not owned.  I wish we owned it but we do not.  We stopped being homeowners as a result of the recession a few years back, selling everything to keep the wolves from the doors, including our home, and then starting over from scratch. We had only planned on remaining here for a year but have been here now for five. My, how time flies!  Getting back to the office (I have a knack for wandering off at a tangent), it is not really a proper office but more a room where I do office type tasks when I really have to. I have to make a contribution in some way. It is only fair. At other times it is just my space, where I have books, books and more books and several piles of various papers, documents, magazine cuttings, pictures and just now a couple of saddles. Yes, I did say saddles. My daughter who owns two beautiful horses, has brought her saddles home to clean, and somehow they have have found their way into my space at the top of the house. The point is, it is my space, just for me so the saddles will have to vacate the vicinity soon, later today if I have my way but my daughter is quite a determined sort of individual, and if she is not ready to remove them back to whence they came, we will most likely lock horns for a bit, and then I will give in and say they can stay for a bit longer. We all need a space to call our own sometimes.

In my previous house, the office was in the back garden just behind the house. It used to be the garage but then it became the office. I use the term garage loosely, as no modern car would have fitted into it; most certainly not my present car nor any car that I have ever had. Cars today are so much bigger than the cars of yesteryear, and they seem to be getting bigger, yet the roads remain mostly unchanged. If anything, the roads seem to become more narrow which is I guess because cars are bigger. Once upon a time a family would be considered really lucky to have one car, a car, any car but now every adult member of the family has one. My family is no exception. My husband has a large works van, and me and my daughter both have a car each.  My own car has a personalised number plate which is something I attained along the way, and managed to hang on to when times were harder than they are now.  Sometimes I think about selling my number plate, and wonder whether I am too old to be such a show off but then again I think why not, and change my mind and decide to keep it. Also, if I do something brilliant and become famous or maybe even just a little well known or better known even, then my number plate will increase in value and will be worth more than I paid for it. A good investment maybe for someone with no pension in place. That all said, I will not sell my number plate just yet as I rather like it, and at heart I guess I am a bit of a show off. Mind you, I have to drive sensibly or everyone will know who I am as it is certainly a one of a kind number plate but then surely that is the whole purpose of a personalised number plate. Now where was I? and what was I talking about before I got onto the subject of personalised number plates? Oh, I remember, I was in the office,  about to settle down to some work or maybe even to be creative once work is complete. My husband hates my desk, although I really do not understand why? He really does not have to look at it, if it offends his eye. In the old house, in the garage come office,  his desk was adjacent to mine.  My cluttered mind deemed his desk as boring and uninteresting with nothing that screamed out who the individual might be. His was a functional, practical place of paper piles and constructive crap as I saw it at the time, whilst mine was I like to think laced with literary creativity that would in time inspire my imagination and spur me on to write my masterpiece, which is still inside me somewhere just waiting to come out and be written, which when done will add value to the aforementioned number plate and hopefully put some money into my bank account at which time, I will be able to say to my husband ‘See, I told you so’. All that said, I am eternally grateful to my husband who allows me to pursue my dreams, and although he hates the clutter, the paper mountains, and even more the saddles, he just lets us do what we do. Today is the day where I will seize the opportunity to create something worthy of his faith in me.

Carpe Diem!

© Liola Lee 2019

I actually adapted this post from one of my old ‘Today is the day’ pieces from a few years back. Life is strangely cyclical and not much has changed. I am still waiting to produce something wonderful but will keep working at it

Image  captured by Liola Photographic at Longleat Safari Park May 2019. Titled ‘Locking Horns’

Today is the day ~ Grindstone

Today is the day ~ Grindstone

So far today I have organised the recycling, put out the rubbish, cleared up the dog pooh in the back garden, loaded the dishwasher with last night’s dirty dishes, and put a load in the washing machine. It is Friday and I just do not seem to have that ‘Thank God it’s Friday!’ feeling that Johnny Vaughan and Lisa Snowdon on the radio say that they have. It’s just a day like every other day apart from the fact that it is rubbish collection and recycling day. Whoopee!! How exciting…not!! I have had my first cup of coffee, just two to go. I suppose I could do my Wii Fit but having drunk a whole bottle of Rioja last night I do not fancy it telling me that I have aged by 5 years. It does that sometimes. It just seems to know when you have drunk too much, gorged yourself on a major pig out, and been a couch potato. Don’t ask me how it knows but it really does, and I really do not want to be told I am older than I am today so perhaps I shall leave the Wii Fit tucked away under the telly where it can do me no harm, and I shall not feel guilty. Also, I am sure there is no way that I can balance on one leg today, and I do not need it to tell me what I already know. I have also decided that I shall not sigh today. I spent a lot of time sighing and huffing and puffing, which is a sign that I need to add some excitement to my daily routine. I try very hard to be happy, and to do my various chores with a big fat smile on my face, and to be grateful for the fact that I am alive and therefore able to participate in these necessary tasks of daily life but at times I have to be honest and confess to being more than a little bored with the role of general dogsbody. Call me ungrateful if you will but I really wish that sometimes, someone bloody else would pick things up, put things away, clean the bathroom, take the rubbish out, pick up pooh and just let me have a day off. Oh shit…I just sighed and I said I would not do that today. I did it again. “Stop right there Mrs and pull yourself together”. I am talking to myself again. I seem to be doing this a lot of the time. I wonder if it’s true that talking to your self is the first sign of madness? Now let’s go and get that coffee and think about how I am going to change things today. I’ll have to have a shower first as I feel really sticky after the humidity of last night. At least I think it was humidity or maybe it was a hot flush. How are you supposed to know what it feels like to have a hot flush. They call it a flash in the US. I wonder who invents these phrases. And another thing my breasts feel really tender and yesterday I was crying and frustrated but I have only just finished my period. I have never heard of pre-menstrual tension after the event or then it would have to be called after menstrual tension. Bloody hormones!! I refuse to be a slave to them. I am a calm, rational woman fully in control of my actions and perfectly able to adjust to this time in my life when I am experiencing some changes. Changes I might add that all women go through, although for some reason they never really openly discuss. Who am I kidding, I am a woman and my hormones are totally out of control whether I like it or not. I am having my third and final coffee now, and am trying to decide whether to chance the Wii Fit. After all it might get it wrong for once and make me younger than I am, which if it did would make me feel so much better. Um, we’ll see, I’ll decide in a minute. Oh, decisions, decisions. And, I’ve just remembered that Friday is wages day. The day we have to pay our subbies, subcontractors to you. I better get that done or they’ll all be on the phone moaning. Bless them. My job is Company Secretary to the glazing business set up by my husband. For my sins I get to do all the office admin which sometimes I do not mind but for which most of the time I find a real chore, a necessary evil as it were. Although to be fair it does pay me well but then money is not everything but it does pay for holidays. You really can never have too many holidays. I love going on holiday. Back to the drawing board, the grindstone, I mean work. 

© Liola Lee 2010

Today is the day’ …was a collection of musings I wrote during the Peri menopause years. It’s spoken in the first person, and was based largely on my journal entries written around that time. Journalling is a wonderful way to express this, that and whatever else needs to be said whether aloud or silently…

And although as mentioned previously ‘Today is the Day’ is to be brought in to the 21st Century. I did say that the past would have it’s place. So here is one for ‘Throwback Thursday’ though in the post it’s actually Friday. 

 

 

 

Today is the day ~ ‘It’s today…’

Today is the day ~ ‘It’s today…’

So what do I write about? They say you should write about what you know but I find myself continually asking my self what do I know about that would be of interest to anyone else? I mean really know about? I have spent years trying this, that and the other and truly feel like a ‘Jack of all trades’ and ‘Master of none’. If that sounds like I am feeling sorry for myself then I apologise. That’s certainly not my intention. I have always had a somewhat eclectic type of personality, and in some ways that’s good but sometimes I feel I just over extend myself, spread myself too thin, take on too much and then get nothing done or not enough. So today, I have decided to do things differently.

So what is my intention? If I can work out my intention, I will apparently sow the seeds of something, though what that specific something is as yet I am still trying to figure out. I shall not be deterred. I shall sow that seed, I shall water it, nurture it and hopefully grow it into something beautiful,  something wonderful, and something to be proud of.

Today then, is the day when I shall take that blank page and change my story!

Wishing you all a creative day!

Today is the day’ …was a collection of musings I wrote during the Peri menopause years. It’s spoken in the first person, and was based largely on my journal entries written around that time. Journalling is a wonderful way to express this, that and whatever else needs to be said whether aloud or silently…

I have decided to bring ‘Today is the day’ into the 21st Century. The past is done. Yes it will always have it’s place and will pop up from time to time and that’s fine but it’s time to stop over dwelling on it and to be here and now. It’s today that counts. Who I was yesterday is not who I am today, at least not if I don’t want it to be.

© Liola Lee 2019

Today is the day ~ Let the day begin

Today is the day ~ Let the day begin

Let the day begin

15th July 2010 (am)

I am sitting here in the dining room contemplating what I shall write about today. So often I just write whatever comes into my head, and wonder if what I am writing is worth writing or whether it is just meaningless nonsensical crap that no one will ever read. I determine I shall aim to write at least 500 words, after all if I am to be a writer I must in fact write. 

It is very windy outside this morning, so much so that the willow tree is swaying heavily from one side to another; a dancing yeti embracing the universe, reminding me that once again another year has passed and we have still to cut it back; something we have been promising the neighbours for the last few years. I was all set to have the tree brought under control by tree surgeons but they turned out to be rogue traders. I was not fooled for long though, and once the price started to increase I knew that they were trying to rip me off and told them so. Once they knew I was on to them, they made a hasty exit but not before they had partially butchered my beloved willow, and left an almighty mess in the back garden. 

I have decided today to try really hard to do things differently, because if I keep doing things as I have been doing them, then nothing will change, and I so desperately want things to change. I am not unhappy but I lack direction just now, and want to find a pathway to follow. I spend too much time sighing and procrastinating over things which is without doubt holding me back. Sitting here with my head held in my hands, and tapping my fingers incessantly on the table whilst looking at the screen, and willing words of wisdom to come forth does not seem to be working. I have already had three cups of coffee which is the same as always. Why oh why did I not begin the day with a lovely cup of tea? 

Anyway, today is the day for change. I have not done my Angel cards for a while so think I may seek guidance from my Angels as to what I should be focusing on today. I also need to change my hair as it is getting on my nerves. This has nothing to do with my hormones. It is simply that I have looked in the mirror and can see a follicle disaster in full swing. 

The willow tree is still waving. I do hope it does not blow down. That would be a nuisance, now to think what to do today. I must go out, as over the last few days I have been somewhat reclusive and not really ventured out unless you include the daily trips down to Sainsbury’s with Steve. We go there everyday and seem to suffer withdrawal symptoms if we miss a day. Sometimes we go down more than once a day, which some may say is a little sad. It is certainly expensive! When we buy our next house we must ensure that we are far away from the local supermarket. We go in for a couple of items and always come out with a trolley full of food that we do not need nor want really. I am not really sure when we became addicted to food shopping but never a day goes by without us making Mr Sainsbury just that little bit richer. I am sure we are their best customers.

Sammy has just been down and offered me a slice of birthday cake. I questioned why she had bought a birthday cake, “Because I like it” was the answer which I guess is a fair response. I declined on this occasion, though to be honest I was a little tempted. However, a slice of birthday cake will do nothing for my waistline or rather, nothing for that place where my waist used to be. I should go out for a really long walk with Syd, that may clear a few cobwebs. I could walk Syd and drop some papers off to the Accountants therefore achieving the completion of two tasks in one go. It might rain but if it does I shall get a bit wet, so what, a bit of rain never hurt anybody, well not unless you think about those people who get hurt in floods and things, then I guess you could get hurt but just now it is a little cloudy and a little windy, and does not look as though it will flood in the near vicinity. 

I wonder if all women nearing the menopause ponder on such trivia as I do on a daily basis. I wonder if all women sigh as much as I do, and wonder what to do with themselves when they are not cooking, cleaning, ironing, dog walking, washing up and looking after the children. Although the children in my house are all pretty much grown up or at least they are when it suits them, and they never do that much for me. It seems to be understood that it is my role or duty to do everything around the house to make everyone else comfortable and content but what about me, who will do that for me? I guess I shall have to do it for myself but it is hard to do things for myself. I have spent so many years looking after everyone else’s needs that I have forgotten how to look after my own. Today though, I shall endeavour to address this balance and put myself first. I shall aim to please myself, not for selfish reasons you understand but for my self preservation. The time has come for ME… ME… ME…

Let the day begin. 

© Liola Lee 2010

‘Today is the day’ …was a collection of musings I wrote during the Peri menopause years. It’s spoken in the first person, and was based largely on my journal entries written around that time. Journalling is a wonderful way to express this, that and whatever else needs to be said whether aloud or silently…

Today is the day ~ Truth and Integrity

Today is the day ~ Truth and Integrity

Today is the day that I have decided to focus on truth and integrity. Perhaps it was not really my decision but it is what my Angel cards have said, and it seems to me to be pretty good advice. Also, it ties in with my daily secret teachings. I receive these every day. What are they you may wonder? Well, they are little messages sent to me by my request, which help me practice the Law of Attraction. This morning the message I received said I should follow my own heart, and live my own bliss and let other people follow theirs. It also said I should look for the good in everyone which I do try to do​ on most days but sometimes I have to be honest, and admit that I slip up on this one, on occasion, and then I remember that the Law of Attraction says that we attract back whatever we send out into the Universe, and as I believe in this law, I have to readjust my thinking at times, lots of times actually. I have put this law into practice, and it really works but just sometimes I falter, and then things go horribly wrong. I shall have to work harder on this I know but I am in essence a human being, and programmed to make errors. Getting back to truth and integrity, I shall today try to let go of anything that is not working for me and give it up to the Universe and say, “here you are…you have it because I sure as hell don’t want it”. I said that all wrong because the Universe apparently does not hear the ‘don’t’ and will hear the ‘want’ and all those things I do not want will boomerang right back to me. So I shall have to be more specific in my choice of words, as words have power as does the power of thought. I remember I am meant to say what I want not what I do not want. Apparently if I do this I shall make way for a miracle, and trust me miracles do happen.

© Liola Lee 2010

‘Today is the day’ …was a collection of musings I wrote during the Peri menopause years. It’s spoken in the first person, and was based largely on my journal entries written around that time. Journalling is a wonderful way to express this, that and whatever else needs to be said whether aloud or silently…

 

 

Today is the day…My catchphrase

Today is the day…My catchphrase

Today is the day…’ is fast becoming my catch phrase. Every morning or at least almost every morning, I announce these words upon waking, sometimes to my husband and sometimes silently to myself when I think he’s fed up of hearing me repeat them yet again.  Sometimes I determine not to say these words at all because if today does not turn out to be the day that I hope for then I will not feel as though I’ve failed, and let myself down. Each day as I see it, is a new beginning, a time for me to forget the mistakes of yesterday and start afresh today. Mondays are the best as that’s a new week too but any day will do. Only thing is I’ve been saying this for years now and I’m still just plodding on but each day when I say it I really do mean it. Perhaps each day is my groundhog day which is why I say it each morning silently or otherwise. 

Today is the day when I shall get back on track with my health and fitness, lose weight, stop drinking wine because it’s making me fat, and refrain from anything that has even the remotest amount of caffeine in it. I shall not get angry, I shall not cry, I shall not lose my temper and I shall not let the little things in life get to me nor the big things either. I shall not be negative but will try to stay positive at all times. I shall endeavour to practice mindfulness at all times. I shall be mindful of what I put into my mouth and even more mindful of what I let out of my mouth. I shall take care with my thoughts and even more care with my actions. I plan to make every minute of every day count and live each day as though it were my last and of course to be present in the here and now living the moment mindfully or at least as mindfully as possible. At least that tends to be the general plan on most days. My list reads something like a revised edition of the 10 commandments only there are more, although I hasten to add that I have not killed anyone, not yet anyway. That said, maybe I’m being a bit too hard on myself and I do rather fancy a coffee, just a small one or maybe three… just to give me a kick start, so perhaps today is not the day to give up caffeine…just everything else.

© Liola Lee 2010

‘Today is the day’ …was a collection of musings I wrote during the Peri menopause years. It’s spoken in the first person, and was based largely on my journal entries written around that time. Journalling is a wonderful way to express this, that and whatever else needs to be said whether aloud or silently…