Don’t be afraid of the dark…

-1-2

 

Be assured that there is light on the other side! Trust the process!

© Liola Lee 2019

I captured this image at a local country park. I liked the way the bushes and trees created a frame making the pathway appear like a tunnel. 

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Carpe Diem…

Carpe Diem!! Or to those of you unfamiliar with Latin ‘Seize the day!!’ I feel pretty good today. In fact the best that I have felt for the last couple of weeks. I am at work in the office today. My office is not far, in fact it is situated at the top of our rather tall Tardis like town house, for those of you unfamiliar with Doctor Who, a Tardis is in fact an old fashioned police telephone box which used to be seen on many streets in England, when I was a small child. Giving my age away now. Our home is rented not owned.  I wish we owned it but we do not.  We stopped being homeowners as a result of the recession a few years back, selling everything to keep the wolves from the doors, including our home, and then starting over from scratch. We had only planned on remaining here for a year but have been here now for five. My, how time flies!  Getting back to the office (I have a knack for wandering off at a tangent), it is not really a proper office but more a room where I do office type tasks when I really have to. I have to make a contribution in some way. It is only fair. At other times it is just my space, where I have books, books and more books and several piles of various papers, documents, magazine cuttings, pictures and just now a couple of saddles. Yes, I did say saddles. My daughter who owns two beautiful horses, has brought her saddles home to clean, and somehow they have have found their way into my space at the top of the house. The point is, it is my space, just for me so the saddles will have to vacate the vicinity soon, later today if I have my way but my daughter is quite a determined sort of individual, and if she is not ready to remove them back to whence they came, we will most likely lock horns for a bit, and then I will give in and say they can stay for a bit longer. We all need a space to call our own sometimes.

In my previous house, the office was in the back garden just behind the house. It used to be the garage but then it became the office. I use the term garage loosely, as no modern car would have fitted into it; most certainly not my present car nor any car that I have ever had. Cars today are so much bigger than the cars of yesteryear, and they seem to be getting bigger, yet the roads remain mostly unchanged. If anything, the roads seem to become more narrow which is I guess because cars are bigger. Once upon a time a family would be considered really lucky to have one car, a car, any car but now every adult member of the family has one. My family is no exception. My husband has a large works van, and me and my daughter both have a car each.  My own car has a personalised number plate which is something I attained along the way, and managed to hang on to when times were harder than they are now.  Sometimes I think about selling my number plate, and wonder whether I am too old to be such a show off but then again I think why not, and change my mind and decide to keep it. Also, if I do something brilliant and become famous or maybe even just a little well known or better known even, then my number plate will increase in value and will be worth more than I paid for it. A good investment maybe for someone with no pension in place. That all said, I will not sell my number plate just yet as I rather like it, and at heart I guess I am a bit of a show off. Mind you, I have to drive sensibly or everyone will know who I am as it is certainly a one of a kind number plate but then surely that is the whole purpose of a personalised number plate. Now where was I? and what was I talking about before I got onto the subject of personalised number plates? Oh, I remember, I was in the office,  about to settle down to some work or maybe even to be creative once work is complete. My husband hates my desk, although I really do not understand why? He really does not have to look at it, if it offends his eye. In the old house, in the garage come office,  his desk was adjacent to mine.  My cluttered mind deemed his desk as boring and uninteresting with nothing that screamed out who the individual might be. His was a functional, practical place of paper piles and constructive crap as I saw it at the time, whilst mine was I like to think laced with literary creativity that would in time inspire my imagination and spur me on to write my masterpiece, which is still inside me somewhere just waiting to come out and be written, which when done will add value to the aforementioned number plate and hopefully put some money into my bank account at which time, I will be able to say to my husband ‘See, I told you so’. All that said, I am eternally grateful to my husband who allows me to pursue my dreams, and although he hates the clutter, the paper mountains, and even more the saddles, he just lets us do what we do. Today is the day where I will seize the opportunity to create something worthy of his faith in me.

Carpe Diem!

© Liola Lee 2019

I actually adapted this post from one of my old ‘Today is the day’ pieces from a few years back. Life is strangely cyclical and not much has changed. I am still waiting to produce something wonderful but will keep working at it

Image  captured by Liola Photographic at Longleat Safari Park May 2019. Titled ‘Locking Horns’

Wake up!

Wake up Lolly it’s time to move on.

Who is Lolly?

I am she, and she is me.

We are one and the same. I am still Liola, for that is my name, that which I was given at birth or somewhere thereabouts by my parents.  I will always be Liola but Lolly is the girl in me, my inner child who for so long has lost her way and lingered in limbo. The child within us is always there but sometimes as we get older we lose our sense of fun, our sense of adventure, even our sense of childlike wonder.

We get bogged down with responsibility, work, bills, debts, unhealthy habits, mess, clutter, mental, emotional and physical. We become full but not whole; fragmented, not complete. Our lives are full of stuff that is surplus to requirements, that we find hard to release and let go. We live in a material world, and fall for the hype of consumerism. Life gets complicated, when what we really crave is simplicity and space. We become self-saboteurs, often blaming circumstances and everything other than ourselves. We become obstacles in our own lives, and find ourselves stuck in an almighty rut that sometimes we just can’t see our way out of.

However, it is not all doom and gloom, even though sometimes we convince ourselves that it is. Life is truly beautiful with all it’s ups and downs! It is in a constant state of flux. Just look at nature, the changing of the seasons from one to the other. Look at how in the Spring everything is new and coming to life. Then with Summer everything is bursting with life and an explosion of colour. Autumn too rocks a rainbow of colour that is equally as lovely as  her sister Summer. Then with Winter we see what we think is a loss of life but we are wrong, Winter is just a time of rest before the cycle begins again.  Change comes no matter what, and time changes everything. We have it within our power to create the changes we want to see in our world and the world at large.

Life is cyclical. Life is like the seasons. We as human beings go through a life cycle but during our lifetimes, if we are lucky enough we go through many cycles of change. What at times may appear as a time of emptiness, poor growth and stagnation even, is merely a period of rest before we are ready to refresh, restart and renew.

So to little Lolly, my inner child, I say, time to come out of hibernation and fill your world with colour again. The World is waiting!

© Liola Lee 2019

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today is the day ~ Grindstone

So far today I have organised the recycling, put out the rubbish, cleared up the dog pooh in the back garden, loaded the dishwasher with last night’s dirty dishes, and put a load in the washing machine. It is Friday and I just do not seem to have that ‘Thank God it’s Friday!’ feeling that Johnny Vaughan and Lisa Snowdon on the radio say that they have. It’s just a day like every other day apart from the fact that it is rubbish collection and recycling day. Whoopee!! How exciting…not!! I have had my first cup of coffee, just two to go. I suppose I could do my Wii Fit but having drunk a whole bottle of Rioja last night I do not fancy it telling me that I have aged by 5 years. It does that sometimes. It just seems to know when you have drunk too much, gorged yourself on a major pig out, and been a couch potato. Don’t ask me how it knows but it really does, and I really do not want to be told I am older than I am today so perhaps I shall leave the Wii Fit tucked away under the telly where it can do me no harm, and I shall not feel guilty. Also, I am sure there is no way that I can balance on one leg today, and I do not need it to tell me what I already know. I have also decided that I shall not sigh today. I spent a lot of time sighing and huffing and puffing, which is a sign that I need to add some excitement to my daily routine. I try very hard to be happy, and to do my various chores with a big fat smile on my face, and to be grateful for the fact that I am alive and therefore able to participate in these necessary tasks of daily life but at times I have to be honest and confess to being more than a little bored with the role of general dogsbody. Call me ungrateful if you will but I really wish that sometimes, someone bloody else would pick things up, put things away, clean the bathroom, take the rubbish out, pick up pooh and just let me have a day off. Oh shit…I just sighed and I said I would not do that today. I did it again. “Stop right there Mrs and pull yourself together”. I am talking to myself again. I seem to be doing this a lot of the time. I wonder if it’s true that talking to your self is the first sign of madness? Now let’s go and get that coffee and think about how I am going to change things today. I’ll have to have a shower first as I feel really sticky after the humidity of last night. At least I think it was humidity or maybe it was a hot flush. How are you supposed to know what it feels like to have a hot flush. They call it a flash in the US. I wonder who invents these phrases. And another thing my breasts feel really tender and yesterday I was crying and frustrated but I have only just finished my period. I have never heard of pre-menstrual tension after the event or then it would have to be called after menstrual tension. Bloody hormones!! I refuse to be a slave to them. I am a calm, rational woman fully in control of my actions and perfectly able to adjust to this time in my life when I am experiencing some changes. Changes I might add that all women go through, although for some reason they never really openly discuss. Who am I kidding, I am a woman and my hormones are totally out of control whether I like it or not. I am having my third and final coffee now, and am trying to decide whether to chance the Wii Fit. After all it might get it wrong for once and make me younger than I am, which if it did would make me feel so much better. Um, we’ll see, I’ll decide in a minute. Oh, decisions, decisions. And, I’ve just remembered that Friday is wages day. The day we have to pay our subbies, subcontractors to you. I better get that done or they’ll all be on the phone moaning. Bless them. My job is Company Secretary to the glazing business set up by my husband. For my sins I get to do all the office admin which sometimes I do not mind but for which most of the time I find a real chore, a necessary evil as it were. Although to be fair it does pay me well but then money is not everything but it does pay for holidays. You really can never have too many holidays. I love going on holiday. Back to the drawing board, the grindstone, I mean work. 

© Liola Lee 2010

Today is the day’ …was a collection of musings I wrote during the Peri menopause years. It’s spoken in the first person, and was based largely on my journal entries written around that time. Journalling is a wonderful way to express this, that and whatever else needs to be said whether aloud or silently…

And although as mentioned previously ‘Today is the Day’ is to be brought in to the 21st Century. I did say that the past would have it’s place. So here is one for ‘Throwback Thursday’ though in the post it’s actually Friday. 

 

 

 

Today is the day ~ ‘It’s today…’

So what do I write about? They say you should write about what you know but I find myself continually asking my self what do I know about that would be of interest to anyone else? I mean really know about? I have spent years trying this, that and the other and truly feel like a ‘Jack of all trades’ and ‘Master of none’. If that sounds like I am feeling sorry for myself then I apologise. That’s certainly not my intention. I have always had a somewhat eclectic type of personality, and in some ways that’s good but sometimes I feel I just over extend myself, spread myself too thin, take on too much and then get nothing done or not enough. So today, I have decided to do things differently.

So what is my intention? If I can work out my intention, I will apparently sow the seeds of something, though what that specific something is as yet I am still trying to figure out. I shall not be deterred. I shall sow that seed, I shall water it, nurture it and hopefully grow it into something beautiful,  something wonderful, and something to be proud of.

Today then, is the day when I shall take that blank page and change my story!

Wishing you all a creative day!

Today is the day’ …was a collection of musings I wrote during the Peri menopause years. It’s spoken in the first person, and was based largely on my journal entries written around that time. Journalling is a wonderful way to express this, that and whatever else needs to be said whether aloud or silently…

I have decided to bring ‘Today is the day’ into the 21st Century. The past is done. Yes it will always have it’s place and will pop up from time to time and that’s fine but it’s time to stop over dwelling on it and to be here and now. It’s today that counts. Who I was yesterday is not who I am today, at least not if I don’t want it to be.

© Liola Lee 2019