Time

Time

‘Time is what prevents everything happening at once’ ~ Albert Einstein

First of all may I just wish everyone here in the Blogosphere a very belated Happy, Healthy, and Prosperous New Year in 2019! As they say in the film The Hunger Games ‘May the  odds be ever in your favour’. Could not resist saying that! ! I have not done much on here for a while, as my beautiful horse River had an acute bout of Sand Colic on Christmas Eve, undergoing emergency surgery that same day as this was his only chance of survival. It was truly a do or die moment. The very word ‘Colic’ instills fear in those of us with horses, as colic in horses can be fatal. The Christmas break consisted of daily trips to the Equine Hospital some thirty five miles away. Sometimes twice a day. That said, Christmas is a time of miracles, and my equine friend made it through surgery. He is back home now and all is going well, and the prognosis is good. So explanations and best wishes aside, it is time to set pen to paper or rather fingers to the keyboard click, click clacking once more.

Is there such a thing as real time or is time just an illusion?

Time is the one thing that once given can never be gotten back, so waste your time wisely seems to be good advice, that is of course if wasting your time can ever be wise. Whether we follow that advice or not is of course up to us but in my experience more often than not we do not waste it wisely but rather just waste it without due care and attention. We then later realise that we have been procrastinating over this, that and the other and time has somehow managed to escape us.  We ask ourselves, ‘Where did the time go?’ or ‘I lost track of time’. Even in these short few words written here, there are numerous references to that which we often refer  fondly to as Old Father Time. Old Father Time perhaps being a more favourable image of the Grim Reaper reminding us maybe that our time is limited. I am beginning to think that we are obsessed with the ticking of the clock; tick tock, tick tock.

We are often told that there is no time like the present, and yet we constantly dwell on the past, and wonder about the future, and therefore often miss the moment that is here and now. Time can be quite the conundrum, in that we have too much time on our hands, yet not enough hours in the day to get things done. Time is said to be a great Healer and yet Time waits for no man. Time is of the essence and yet often time eludes us and is scarce. We have too much time or not enough. We are short of time and time is short. There is no time to get things done and yet we are often told we have all the time in the World. So which is is?

Every second counts, and there is one born every minute, which could refer to any number of things. Time can be our friend or our foe depending on where you stand on the subject. We are often rushed for time, and that time in the day when we go to work and when we return home during peak hours is aptly named rush hour. There is that time before sunrise and sunset which is dubbed Golden hour. Sometimes we feel robbed of time. Our time is precious, so why oh why do we waste so much of it?

There is so much more that I could write on the subject of time as time is everlasting but just now for me, in this instant,  time is short and I must rush off in order to spend some time doing something that I love. Off to the stables it is then, to spend quality time with my much loved horse River who has been given extra time, so I look forward to some more happy times ahead. I thank you for your time, and hope that you will pop by in the future to spend a little time with me. Au revoir! 

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Today is the day ~ 1970s…

The 1970s were crazy and colourful! Chopper bikes, curly perms and clackers were all the rage. For those of you who were not around in the 1970s, clackers were a toy that was on trend, basically two small balls on the end of strings which made a sort of clacking noise. We certainly had some strange toys! Hem lengths were confused with the mini, the midi and the maxi all vying for top position. The hippies of Woodstock back in 1969 left us confused and unsure as to which way now, not that I went to Woodstock as I was only 7, although I bet it would have been fun! In 1969 I was just 7 years old, a little kid just starting out on the journey of life, no real life experience as yet, just the enthusiasm and innocence of childhood. Glam Rock, Punk, Rock ‘n’ Roll, pop…all taking the stage. The 60s may have been swinging but the 70s were electrifying! My idol was David Cassidy, brown eyes, husky voice and a smile to die for. Here just thinking about him makes me sigh like a teenager. It did n’t even matter that he was in the Partridge Family who to be honest were a bit square, and not in the least bit funky but David sang to my soul with Could it be forever and How can I be sure?  This guy, who was 12 years older than me, somehow knew how I felt, knew who I was, and somehow spoke to me in a way that no one else could. My relationship with David was deep and meaningful. Then years later Robbie Williams came along who incidentally is 12 years younger. I wonder, if like me they are Tigers in Chinese astrology which moves in 12 year cycles. Umm that’s an interesting thought. I’ll have to check that out. Robbie took me through my adulteens and dare I say it my adulthood. Oh yes, Robbie went through everything with me, through his music of course. I am probably dwelling on the 70s just now as this was the timeframe in which I was 16 and in all honesty my daughter is now 16 and I am feeling at a crossroads. It really does not seem that long ago that I was the same age and going through the same experiences that she is just now. I am sure that she would be horrified at the very thought that I may have been as she is now. I am sure to her it does not seem descent that a woman of my 48 years should have ever experienced the first flush of youth. To my daughter, all I can say is just you wait until you have a daughter or son of your own.

© Liola Lee 2010

‘Today is the day’ …was a collection of musings I wrote during the Peri menopause years. It’s spoken in the first person, and was based largely on my journal entries written around that time. Journalling is a wonderful way to express this, that and whatever else needs to be said whether aloud or silently…

Today is the day ~ Let the day begin

Let the day begin

15th July 2010 (am)

I am sitting here in the dining room contemplating what I shall write about today. So often I just write whatever comes into my head, and wonder if what I am writing is worth writing or whether it is just meaningless nonsensical crap that no one will ever read. I determine I shall aim to write at least 500 words, after all if I am to be a writer I must in fact write. 

It is very windy outside this morning, so much so that the willow tree is swaying heavily from one side to another; a dancing yeti embracing the universe, reminding me that once again another year has passed and we have still to cut it back; something we have been promising the neighbours for the last few years. I was all set to have the tree brought under control by tree surgeons but they turned out to be rogue traders. I was not fooled for long though, and once the price started to increase I knew that they were trying to rip me off and told them so. Once they knew I was on to them, they made a hasty exit but not before they had partially butchered my beloved willow, and left an almighty mess in the back garden. 

I have decided today to try really hard to do things differently, because if I keep doing things as I have been doing them, then nothing will change, and I so desperately want things to change. I am not unhappy but I lack direction just now, and want to find a pathway to follow. I spend too much time sighing and procrastinating over things which is without doubt holding me back. Sitting here with my head held in my hands, and tapping my fingers incessantly on the table whilst looking at the screen, and willing words of wisdom to come forth does not seem to be working. I have already had three cups of coffee which is the same as always. Why oh why did I not begin the day with a lovely cup of tea? 

Anyway, today is the day for change. I have not done my Angel cards for a while so think I may seek guidance from my Angels as to what I should be focusing on today. I also need to change my hair as it is getting on my nerves. This has nothing to do with my hormones. It is simply that I have looked in the mirror and can see a follicle disaster in full swing. 

The willow tree is still waving. I do hope it does not blow down. That would be a nuisance, now to think what to do today. I must go out, as over the last few days I have been somewhat reclusive and not really ventured out unless you include the daily trips down to Sainsbury’s with Steve. We go there everyday and seem to suffer withdrawal symptoms if we miss a day. Sometimes we go down more than once a day, which some may say is a little sad. It is certainly expensive! When we buy our next house we must ensure that we are far away from the local supermarket. We go in for a couple of items and always come out with a trolley full of food that we do not need nor want really. I am not really sure when we became addicted to food shopping but never a day goes by without us making Mr Sainsbury just that little bit richer. I am sure we are their best customers.

Sammy has just been down and offered me a slice of birthday cake. I questioned why she had bought a birthday cake, “Because I like it” was the answer which I guess is a fair response. I declined on this occasion, though to be honest I was a little tempted. However, a slice of birthday cake will do nothing for my waistline or rather, nothing for that place where my waist used to be. I should go out for a really long walk with Syd, that may clear a few cobwebs. I could walk Syd and drop some papers off to the Accountants therefore achieving the completion of two tasks in one go. It might rain but if it does I shall get a bit wet, so what, a bit of rain never hurt anybody, well not unless you think about those people who get hurt in floods and things, then I guess you could get hurt but just now it is a little cloudy and a little windy, and does not look as though it will flood in the near vicinity. 

I wonder if all women nearing the menopause ponder on such trivia as I do on a daily basis. I wonder if all women sigh as much as I do, and wonder what to do with themselves when they are not cooking, cleaning, ironing, dog walking, washing up and looking after the children. Although the children in my house are all pretty much grown up or at least they are when it suits them, and they never do that much for me. It seems to be understood that it is my role or duty to do everything around the house to make everyone else comfortable and content but what about me, who will do that for me? I guess I shall have to do it for myself but it is hard to do things for myself. I have spent so many years looking after everyone else’s needs that I have forgotten how to look after my own. Today though, I shall endeavour to address this balance and put myself first. I shall aim to please myself, not for selfish reasons you understand but for my self preservation. The time has come for ME… ME… ME…

Let the day begin. 

© Liola Lee 2010

‘Today is the day’ …was a collection of musings I wrote during the Peri menopause years. It’s spoken in the first person, and was based largely on my journal entries written around that time. Journalling is a wonderful way to express this, that and whatever else needs to be said whether aloud or silently…

Grief

To live in the hearts of those we love, is not to die’.

When our beautiful Dad passed away shortly after Christmas 2013 after wrestling with mixed dementia/Alzheimers, Life as we knew it changed forever.  Nothing prepares anyone really for the emotional roller coaster that is to come. Grief is something that happens to us all at some stage in our lives. The feeling of intense sorrow, and devastating loss of a loved one, a relationship , a job or a much loved pet can be too much to bear in the early stages. We can become overwhelmed beyond belief by this terrible sense of loss, separation, and sadness. Sometimes tears fall easily and incessantly, and  sometimes they don’t fall at all.  At times we may feel as though we cannot breathe or catch our breath. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve. We each deal with our emotions in our own way, whatever that may be, and that’s okay. When we lose something that has been a big part of our lives for a long time or sometimes even just a short time, we may feel empty and hollow with nothing left to give, almost as if our insides have been ripped out, torn apart and discarded in all manner of directions.  We are left with a void that nothing can fill. Clouds and thunderstorms become the order of the day and night. Life goes on but we feel heavy and unable to cope at times, and can feel angry that everyone around us seems to be able to go on as normal. Why can they not see what we are going through? Sometimes we put on a brave face to the outside world but often it is just a facade beneath which hides a turmoil of unexplained emotions which may erupt at any time like a slumbering volcano that’s set to wake up at any time. It seems there are several stages of grief to go through, shock, denial, pain, guilt, anger, depression, reflection, loneliness through to acceptance. I have felt all these and more. There is no set time as to when these stages of grief will happen or for how long but time does heal. We never forget but we do eventually learn to accept and come to realise that we have cherished memories that will last a lifetime, and that the essence and energy of what or who we feel we have lost is merely lost to us in the physical sense. We are all energy and as such energy just changes form. It takes time to heal and we each heal at our own pace and that is okay too. Eventually we arrive at a place of loving peace within. There are still clouds from time to time but now there are bursts of sunshine too and it is okay to feel the warmth of the sun once more. Love never truly dies. I miss my Dad and think of him often but I know in my heart that he is never really too far away. Sometimes I see a Butterfly or a white feather falling from the sky and I am reminded that all is well. This short blog post is dedicated to all those who have felt the desolation of losing someone or something they loved. 

© Liola Lee 2018

Earthsterne

I wrote this way back  in May 1997. I came across it today whilst searching for something else. It is just over 21 years ago since I wrote it and it is clearly written for that particular timeframe. I was a mere 35 years old at the time just trying to work things out.  I was totally preoccupied with the pending Millennium back then and was involved in some heavy duty thinking as to what everything meant. If I have said anything that is incorrect or said anything out of turn that causes offence to anyone I apologise. I even sent it to a magazine only to be told that it was arrogant.  If it was/is I certainly did not intend that. Far from it! It was simply  how I saw things at the time but that is how it was dubbed at the time, and so I duly laid it to rest. That is until today.   Now at age 56 I still find myself  pondering over the meaning of life from time to time, but these days I accept that I am right where I am meant to be here and now. For now is what we have and that’s okay. The image shown is of the Ocean as it represents life. I captured the image in 2016 in Hawaii.

Life is an adventure. A Journey that may take us along many pathways, the final destination unknown. As we travel through life on this earthly plane we are each responsible for our chosen route. We enter this world armed with all the knowledge and wisdom gathered from all previous existence. Huge volumes bound in love and blood are inherently catalogued somewhere in the deep recesses of our subconscious mind. Most of us may glimpse briefly at the contents of this vast vault in our dreams, snatching snippets of something greater than this earthly reality, only to dismiss it without question when re-entering a state of conscious awareness.

Yet there are some with a pioneering spirit who need to explore the various states of consciousness by whatever methods and means are available and effective. The quest for understanding is not new but as ancient as time itself. With the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, the pursuit of finding a reason for being has intensified.

As we approach the end of the Piscean Age, many are no longer prepared to swim in the mainstream by ‘going with the flow’. A New Age is pending, promising plenty to those who open their hearts and minds to the potentiality and universal prosperity that planetary peace could bring. The New Age will see a mass resurgence of ancient practices. A return to Nature and a growing respect for the planet. By learning to nurture the Earth’s natural resources we may with time replenish her waning stores. The age old adage of ‘ you will reap what you sow ‘ may take on a whole new meaning.

The Age of Aquarius is a familiar phrase to many but many people have no idea what it means in real terms. The expression has its roots in Astronomy and Astrology. As far as I’m aware, as it follows it’s orbital path and rotates upon it’s axis the Earth shifts ever so slightly. This slight shift occurs over a period of some 25,920 years divided up into twelve months, which correspond with the twelve signs of the Zodiac. These ‘months’ are approximately 2000 earth years duration. We are, according to Astrology experiencing the Sun setting in all his metaphorical splendour on the Age of Pisces. Some 2000 years ago we welcomed the Piscean period in conjunction with the birth of a new religion, Christianity. The old Pagan religions were forced underground by the might and power of militant Christianity.

Militancy and religion seem so much a contradiction in terms on first inspection. However, a closer look reveals that this pairing may be more than appropriate. A look at the history books reveals horrific and bloody accounts of war and destruction carried out in the name of one god or another. Even those worshipping the same god murder one another. If it was only something we read as part of a history lesson it would not be quite so bad but in truth it seems that we have still not learned the lessons we need if we are to survive as a race for another 2000 years.

© Liola Lee 1997