Finding my way

Three steps forward, six steps back. Seems to be how it goes for me just now or not even just now but for ages. I get all fired up and impassioned (is that a word?) with ideas, thoughts, musings and plans for new projects of this, that and the other, only to find the wind blown out of my sails surely and suddenly from something or someone or most likely my own sensitive/oversensitive self.

Growing up, my Dad, my beautiful and oh so gentle Dad would tell me quietly on one and many occasions that I was too sensitive! My beautiful Mum would reinforce this idea of me being too sensitive or oversensitive but in much more direct terms.

And yes, they were both right! I am sensitive! Or over sensitive by many but not all people’s standards! I take things to heart! I over analyse! I think too much! I overthink everything! I hurt easily!

I am it seems, apparently an empath? I feel what others feel! Not only emotionally but sometimes physically (I get aches and pains, sometimes for no apparent reason and they seem to mirror those of people I am close to). I pick up on people’s moods, tensions and even thoughts. I do not want to if I am honest but it is just how it is.

I carried out a bit of research on this, and discovered that being an Empath is not all bad.  In fact, it seems that it can even be a gift, if I can learn how to psychically protect myself. I am trying to learn various techniques to do just this: from buying an Obsidian Unicorn to visualising myself surrounded by a circle of white or pink light (place myself in a protective bubble as it were). Sometimes it seems to work but then sometimes, the bubble bursts and all hell breaks loose!

The thing is, I am only just learning who I am! I am, I guess like many people, a work in progress, still being sculpted, moulded, designed and created or maybe recreated.

I am not there yet! I have, I think a long way to go but I am on a journey, my journey. I am not sure where I am going just yet but I will get there in the end!

Wishing you all well on your journey! Let’s exchange stories as we go!

Blessed be!

Liola x

© Liola Lee

Just before my husband left for fishing we were discussing something said from yesterday evening, and he told me I was far too sensitive. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wellies, Weebles and Wobbles

While working at wheeling my barrow into the field my foot became well and truly stuck in the mud. It felt as though my foot was sinking, and sinking fast. It was a horrible feeling as I felt almost as though I had no control, and would surely fall flat on my backside at any moment, which may have been preferable to falling down flat on my face or maybe not?  The more I tried to lift my foot with wellie boot intact, the more I felt, I was being sucked into the sludge in squelching splendour. I am pleased to report that I managed to keep my balance, my boot stayed on and I did not wobble like a weeble and fall down. (‘Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down’; Weebles were little egg shaped toy people that could be bought when my eldest son was just a little boy. A popular toy at the time). Actually, I did wobble a bit but quickly found my centre and stayed upright. However, falling down was a distinct possibility!

We all fall down at times. Sometimes we fall suddenly and unexpectedly, and at other times we see it coming and for some reason that we cannot fathom, we just cannot stop ourselves, no matter how hard we try, and down we go.

But here is the thing! We can fall, and stay stuck in the mud as it were OR we can get ourselves back up after a fall,  and work out why we fell in the first place. Perhaps we were not looking where we were going. Perhaps it was external factors at play that we had not prepared for. Perhaps it was trying too hard not to fall down as in what we resist persists. Sometimes when we try really hard not to do something, we end up doing it anyway. Why is that, I wonder? So what can we do, if we are to avoid falling down and getting stuck in the mud?

Well, I did not have to go into the field yesterday if the truth is to be told. I could see that Storm Dennis had turned the field into a quagmire of brown squidgy silt of sorts. No, I did not have to venture forth but venture forth I did, and why did I do that? To quell my OCD about keeping my field poo free. Yes, I did say ‘poo’ but I am talking here of horse droppings. Keeping the field clear from horse droppings reduces the worm burden in the field. Some people are obsessive over ‘poo picking’ (myself here included), and others are not. The bottom line is that I could have waited a day or two but chose not to wait. So, getting stuck in the mud, and having a NFE (Near Fall Experience) was of my own making but I did not fall down and get stuck in the mud, though I most certainly could have. I regained my balance and my composure, and came unstuck and stayed standing. The ‘poo’ was picked up as it were, and promptly without any pomp and circumstance, disposed off on the muck heap back on the yard. A job well done!

The moral of this story is that sometimes we can find ourselves stuck in the mud. Sometimes we fall, only to get ourselves back up, and move on. Sometimes we manage to stay upright after a few wobbles and keep our wellies on!

Blessed be!

Liola

© Liola Lee 2020

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To blog or not to blog?

To blog or not to blog? That is the question. But, and this is a big but, what is the answer? I remember starting a blog many years ago when blogging first became a ‘thing’. Another something that I could try my hand at. I think it was on a platform called blogspot. Does blogspot still even exist? It was a short-lived experience as I got bored pretty quickly and lost interest. Though in reality I most likely had many other things on the go back then (to be honest not much has changed on that score). It was one of those things I started but failed to finish or more aptly failed to continue for one reason or another that for the life of me I cannot recall at this time. It may come back to me but more likely it will not. I probably jumped on the bandwagon because it sounded new and exciting. In fact I think I only wrote and published one or two posts before deleting it all into virtual oblivion. Perhaps I stopped because I felt as though I had nothing worth writing  about, and little to say on anything in particular. I have raised this question after having read an interesting post titled ‘It’s 2020. Is Blogging Still Worth It?’ by Christian Mihai, The Art of Blogging which made me ponder my question ‘To blog or not to blog?’

I ask myself why am I blogging or trying to blog? What am I trying to do here? I have actually published 115 posts which is a lot by some peoples standards and a piddling amount compared to others. Posts which are a mishmash (is that a real word?) of content, from poems to photos, memoirs, snippets of unfinished stories, and musings or moanings on this wonderful, glorious thing that is life. Of course, I should perhaps not compare what I do, to what others do, but actually, of course  I do. I’d be lying if I said I did n’t! By looking at the work of others, does not one find inspiration to try harder, to become better, to write more, and to become more proficient in the art of blogging, and maybe at some stage write something to be truly proud of and that may in some way change someone’s life for the better.

I would like to say I have found my niche but this eclectic personality of mine has this tendency to get in the way more often than not. I wonder whether I will ever just settle to specialise in something specific? I have always been this way. It’s like I have this issue about being pigeon-holed in any way, shape or form, and yet the reality is that I would like to stop being a Jack of all trades, and become Master of one. However, I do not see how that is possible when I flit from one thing to another, and for the most part enjoy the variety, the diversity, the colours that come from changing my tune and dancing a different dance.

So getting back to my question of ‘To blog or not to blog? I think for now I shall attempt to keep this ‘thing’ this ‘space’ in the blogosphere going for the time being. I am so grateful for all the interaction and engagement from those who have stopped by here. Time is so precious and for someone to read something I have written is a wonderful gift.

Thank you so much!

Blessed be!

Liola

© Liola Lee 2020

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Brexit

Today is the day when the UK leaves

the European Union, begins to achieve

independence and new times ahead.

The past is now past, let’s leave it behind,

let’s move forward, begin to find

a middle ground, a place to begin

to work together, mend the divide,

stop the bickering, begin to abide

by the majority decision that was cried

out loud, in the vote, the people voted

we want to leave, clear not coated.

The day is here, at last arrived,

so much waiting, perhaps contrived?

No more waiting, no more stall,

Let’s move on, let’s play ball.

© Liola Lee 2020

I could not let such an important day in our history go by without writing something, anything. It is just a few lines of verse to mark the occasion in a truly small way. It matters not whether you or I  in the UK voted leave or remain. The People voted in the referendum and more recently in the General Election. As a Democracy it has always been important to abide by the vote of the majority. It should not have taken as long as it did to honour the decision of the majority but the people would be heard. It’s what makes us a Democracy. For those of you outside the UK wish us well on our journey! It may not be an easy one but we will do the best we can always!

 

Deep in thought in 1999 (a re-post)

The millennium was drawing to a close and so many people were thinking about what it might mean to themselves and the world. It was in the days before Facebook and Social Networking which has pretty much taken over our lives to one degree or another. It was I think before the Global Summits, though correct me if I am wrong here.  As you will see, I really was going through a period of deep thought. Even the ‘type/lettering used’ suggests a mind and imagination working overtime. I first posted this in 2006 I think  on  blogspot I think (a blog I did for a truly brief time and then deleted). This was the year I think when FB was in its infancy. It’s been quite cathartic reading through some of my old writings and seeing how my thought processes were working back then. It’s pretty heavy duty stuff but hopefully it will give you ‘food for thought’.  This is how I felt back in 1999. My thoughts ran deep, in fact they often ran all over the place with nowhere to go.  Nothing much has changed on that score! I feel  the transition from one age to the other is still taking place  but truly believe that the World will one day be a better place for those who come after us if we become better caretakers. Already people, ordinary people are trying to live life more in harmony with the Earth.  Please note that I use the term God but I am not overtly religious so this could just as easily be substituted with Universe/Creator or whatever resonates with you. We can all make a difference if we try.  So here it is.*

‘ How soon the ‘Piscean Twilight’ sees the Sun set in all his splendour like an Orange Moon welcoming the wave of change. As the tide turns, an Aquarian vessel greets the golden glow of the New Dawn; the Dawn of the ‘Age of Aquarius’. A poetic picture maybe? Perhaps an image impressed and some might say stored in the collective unconscious of a world waiting for the ‘New Day’. A chapter waiting to be read for the past two thousand years.

As the Century, and more poignantly the millennium ends countless questions emerge as to the significance of the move from one sign into another. What exactly does all this mean? What, if anything will be different? Will we wake up on 1st January 2000 regenerated and reprogrammed ready to revel in the wonders of our wonderful world? Shall we see an end to starvation, famine, poverty, violence and war? ‘

This next bit seems very negative but do please read on, it is n’t all bad. Also, if at any point I offend anyone or say something that someone knows not to be true, please accept my apologies as no harm is meant and by all means comment. Remember that this was simply, how I felt prior to the end of one millennium and the beginning of the next.

Regrettably none of these terrible things will cease in an instant. If only that were possible. It has been said that God in all his glory created Man in his own image. Man then created a monster. Man’s Frankenstein was himself. He wanted the unobtainable. He craved power and profit and was determined to acquire his desires at no thought to the cost. Man’s lack of due care and attention was sending him in a spiral down towards his own demise. This was no spiral dance but spiral suicide.

We are continually bombarded with the ‘millennium Bug’ and all it’s implications to industry and commerce. Vast amounts of hard currency have been invested in developing the technology to terminate the expected virus.Could this computerised germ be the plague referred to by Nostra Damus in some of his quatrains? Will we witness a global shut down.

There is a mass movement in the making. Global gatherings united by a multilateral commonality to steer the World clear of self-destruction. Teachers appear in all guises and teach those who are open to learn. Sometimes we miss the lesson at first but remember something later. Prosperity begins in the mind. A single thought as a drop in the Ocean, knowing no boundaries in a measureless sea of Soular energy. 

We have travelled further in terms of advances made in the fields of science, transport and information technology, during the past two hundred years than the rest of the millennium put together. Arrogance clouds man’s vision and highlights his lack of humility. He has manhandled the mastery of his world and at times it seems he has lost touch with the state of being human. He has created a computerised cage in a virtual reality zone. His paranoia over a power cut magnifies the plethora of technology to which he has become enslaved. Manacled to the machinations of microchip technology, and bound by the binary code his blinkered vision narrows his horizons, reducing the realms of possibility, imprisoning individual expression and independent thought. Should the millennium Bug come to fruition it may serve to remind us that what has heart has meaning

Astrologically, Aquarius is symbolised by the Water carrier. Water is our sustenance and our substance. Without it we would die. To carry the water we require a vessel. Our vessel is Earth. Our survival and nourishment is dependent upon a clean supply. To maintain its purity we need fresh air devoid of pollutants that travel from place to place through the air. In Alchemy and other ancient arts Air is symbolised by the intellect, sometimes referred to as ‘ the breath of God ‘. The planet associated with Aquarius is Uranus. Myth states that Uranus was born of Earth. The incestuous mating between Uranus and Earth gave form to all living things. Uranus was castrated following a rebellion mounted against him by Saturn….

Saturn reminds us of our limitations and restrictions. Saturn is also known as Father Time, a constant reminder of the boundaries that surround us. Saturn is linked to the number six and Saturday, the sixth day of the week. The Old Testament says that God created the World in six days and rested on the seventh and then there is the Big bang theory that tells how the World as we know it was created out of the Chaos and darkness that reigned. 

Uranus represents change, disruption and shock not to mention excessive behaviour and possible nervous breakdown. The parallels of Man’s existence and that of his universe and maybe that of many individuals, myself include cannot be dismissed as pure coincidence. Can they? Advances in modern medicine, education and science have all contributed whether for good or bad, right or wrong to the infrastructure of modern society. Yet despite all our ‘mod cons’ and intricate state of the art devices we have imprisoned ourselves within a glass tower.

In our haste to progress and move forward we have lost sight of our roots. We are at odds with Nature. No longer working with her but foolishly attempting to harness those Earthborne energies with a view to controlling that which cannot be contained. In severing the umbilical cord our once inherent gifts and innate senses are no longer instinctual but infinitely impaired. We dismiss our sixth sense as nonsense and deny that gut feeling. We mistrust our intuition only later to discover that our initial reaction was right.

Where does this leave us? A vessel robbed ruthlessly of her riches and resources, steered by careless captains with carrion crews. What lies ahead? ‘ Apocalypse Now ‘ or ‘ Paradise Lost ‘. It is not too late to learn the lessons set. We are and always have been surrounded by symbols, images and signals to guide, warn and help us. By opening our eyes and listening attentively, by being prepared to delve beneath the surface we may find ourselves privy to information that may help us to help ourselves. The doors to perception are ours to open.

Some 75% of our brain lays dormant for much of the time. The possibilities of the human brain are enormous. Perhaps with practice we could tap into some of that unused space. I believe that there is an ancient wisdom locked away merely by the confines and limitations of our own imaginations. We have heard suggestions of hidden knowledge. The keys to unlock the mystery of life are all around. Historical characters including Leonardo da Vinci, Nostra Damus, Jesus of Nazareth, Des Cartes, Milton to name just a few all had ideas that seemed out of place in their world but they believed in something more than that which they could see. 

World leaders playing at politics is a play for power. People friendly it is not. As for promoting Peace it seems that those in charge first examine the stakes and place bets as to where lies the biggest profit. Sincerity and integrity are qualities sadly lacking in those purporting to be the people’s choice. The universal lesson of Cause and Effect shall be learnt. We shall reap what we sow and we shall get out what we put in. To get the best out of the World we must put our best into the World. Destruction or Enlightenment? Our world is and will be of our own making. The way ahead is written in the past and Ancient Wisdom will light the way in accordance with the laws of the Universe.

Change charges us with the task of reminding ourselves who we are. The truth will set you free to discover the mysteries of life and attain a higher state of consciousness that transcends what has gone before. The Aquarian influence will give us confidence in our quest.

© Liola Lee 1999

* The first section was written in 2018 as an introduction to the piece that follows which was written in 1999. I know I posted it on Blogspot around 2006 on a blog I wrote briefly back then, and then gave up soon after (imagine where I might be now if I had persevered with that blog, maybe).The reason I am reposting it, is that I have decided to re-read a book titled ‘The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. I only bought and read this book around the 2006 mark, so I had no knowledge of the contents of the book. That said, having just read the first chapter I was reminded of this piece I wrote. It has further reminded me that everything happens for a reason and that there are no coincidences. It may or may not make any sense to you but then for some it may strike a chord, maybe.

(The image was captured in Porthcurno, Cornwall in May 2018)